Trusting others, respecting yourself

After looking through “This I Believe” website I found two interesting piece that draw my attention. First one was “Love Is Trust and Faith” by Shirley. Next one was “Respect Yourself” by David Westwood.

“Love is Trust and Faith” by Shirley talks about her friend Natasha. Natasha and Shirley were both gymnasts and Natasha had anorexia. Shirley nor the other girls said anything about it because they believed “no sacrifice was too great for the love of gymnastics.” Natasha eventually ended up in institution to treat her condition. She begged that she wants to fight the disease at home but nobody believed that she could. Shirley regrets that she should have believed in Natasha because that is what love is about. Having trust and faith in the ones you love. From this experience she believe that love is unconditional trust and faith without doubting.

I also agreed with Shirley that love is trust and faith. You should trust them no matter what. However it also occurred to me how hard that can be. After seeing certain actions of your loved ones, it is so easy to lose faith in them. When they ask for second chance, would I be able to give it having trust and faith that they will make it up? I doubt it. It was interesting and sad to think how love and trust cannot always come alongside. Also I thought her concept of love can also be applied to yourself. When you love yourself, it is having unconditional trust and faith in yourself. Not doubting what you can or cannot do.

“Respect Yourself” by David Westwood talks about something similar but different. Westwood talks about respecting yourself. He believes that when you respect yourself others will do the same for you. And in order to respect yourself, you must live by following your heart. Not gong against your conscience or giving up and not trying. He gives example in the essay by telling his story of stealing his cousin’s toy. He shamefully gave the toy back to cousin’s mother, knowing it will get in the way of respecting himself (he said by keeping the toy, “opinion of myself would suffer”).

I think the message from this essay is very important. It is crucial that you respect yourself. I also believe that others treat you in the way that you treat yourself. If you respect yourself, others will respect you as well. Also I understand that how respecting can prevent you from doing the things that goes against your principle. By doing something shameful to yourself, you will never be able to respect yourself. Keeping that in mind will guide you throughout the life.

Two essays were very different in their form. Shirley starts her essay by talking about her friend. She talks about what happened to her friend and herself as an observer. She only responds to her friend’s action. Westwood, on the other hand, talks about his own experience. How he stole his cousin’s toy and gave it back to cousin’s mother. However they are both similar in that they talk about beliefs of how we should treat others and ourselves. They talk about two fundamental principle of life, love and respect.

This is photo of a piece called “White Wonderland” by Wonju Seo. When I first sat down and observed the piece it felt magical. It seemed sturdy yet fragile. Soft but rigid. It incorporated both straight and curved lines which flowed together without disagreement. After I had read the description about this piece, it was surprising to find that material was something I was so familiar with. It was pojagi, the Korean patchwork.

[Themes] I believe

As I was looking at the “This I Believe” website I realized after the 5th or 6th one that I was drawn to essays with similar concepts. All the essays I had open were under the “Goodness & Kindess or Respect” themes however, this didn’t surprise me that much. Even before I read the “beliefs” of others who did this essay I knew my topic was going to be on a belief based on kindness, respect or looking at different perspective. I was a bit surprised that all my essays were under the 30-50/50-65 age groups – but I took it in stride.

My whole life the first (or only) adjective people use to describe me is that I’m “nice”, or sometimes “really nice”. Growing up I resented it, I always felt like this just meant that I was too boring for people to think of an accurate description – after all, everyone is “nice” right?

In the past few years I’ve tried to embrace it more, mostly because I’ve realized how much being kind to others plays a role in my daily life. I wrote my “This I believe” essay on smiling at others, which seems like a very simple thing but there have been so many occasions where someone I know will pass me by and make eye contact but not acknowledge our relationship with even a smile. I think smiling at someone is a kindness that can brighten their day just enough that the other bad things don’t seem as bad anything (even if it’s temporary).

The essays I chose were “Be Cool to the Pizza Dude” and “Compliments”. “Be Cool to the Pizza Dude” by Sarah Adams didn’t directly link to what I was going to write about, but the way she wrote her essay brought together values I think are very important all in one simple practice. I loved the way she analyzed the different qualities being “cool to the pizza dude” stemmed from, it allowed me to look at this simple act (and many others similar to it) in a completely different light. Being aware of the way these qualities are incorporated in this act can solidify your belief in them and can help you actively implement those qualities even more in your life.

“Compliments” by Cindy Bee had a similar feeling to the essay by Sarah Adams, as I mentioned before both of them focused on the theme of goodness & kindness. Cindy Bee gave a more concrete and vivid personal example than Sarah Adams. I think both methods served their purpose but I enjoyed the way I was able to understand the belief Cindy Bee focused on before she plainly stated it in the essay. Sarah Adams informs the readers of her philosophy, guiding them in a way that is different from Cindy Bee but at the same time very effective. The belief Cindy Bee focused on is one that I contemplated doing myself, I decided against it after I read her essay (I didn’t want to repeat). I absolutely love when she writes “where else can one get something so valuable that costs absolutely nothing to give?” Giving a compliment is so amazing, similar to smiling (though more impactful), they can completely change the mood of the person complimented. It’s an amazing feeling to make your friend so happy simply by pointing out the great things about them. It’s as easy as pointing out the obvious: “you look really nice today”, “great job on that essay”, “I love how your hair looks”, “it was really kind of you to help me yesterday”.

Overall I really enjoyed writing this essay the most, it was really nice to read about the beliefs of others and come up with a belief of my own.

In class yesterday we went over to the Wang center to sit and reflect on this patchwork created by Wonju Seo. The sun ruins the picture a bit but i think it is still clear the intricacy of the different textile pieces included within the patchwork. It was interesting to me, the deliberate way that it seemed almost incomplete, and that there were large pieces next to some very tiny pieces that made up a larger piece. I initially thought the squares would  be made up of all tiny squares with the same shape but I saw that there were random shapes and pieces included all over the piece. After reading the information about this it made a lot more sense, I was able to visualize the way the pieces from this work could come from many different women and different homes. The different sizes, colors and shapes relay the uniqueness of each home and woman but still have a similarity that connects them across their culture. 

The experience of sitting there was nice, it was a peaceful environment, with the sun on the patchwork and the water flowing behind us. I also included in my picture members of our class, the presence of you all also made the experience unique from a time that I would go to look at it by myself.

Works Cited:

Adams, Sarah. “Be Cool To The Pizza Dude.” This I Believe. 

This I Believe, Inc., 16 May 2005. Web. 19 February 2016.

Bee, Cindy. “Compliments.” This I Believe. 

This I Believe, Inc., 5 July 2013. Web. 19 February 2016.

 

Uv questioning your realities

The two essays I chose and really spoke to me were “Here Comes (the Real) Santa Claus” by Becky Sun and “Misspelling the Word “Of”” by Jason Oda.

Sun writes about moving to America when she was a young girl and learning of a man who would climb down her chimney and leave her presents in the socks along the fireplace. She recalls waking up the day after Christmas, with a “flaccid sock” and a shattered reality. This essay is not a tale of woe about Christmas innocence ruined too early, but rather, speaks of the spirit of Santa Claus living in her friend, who goes out of her way to rectify Sun’s unhappy Christmas memory.

Oda’s essay is one that really got me to question what I think I know. He tells us of a spelling test he took when he was young that asked him and his classmates to spell the word “of”. Oda wrote ‘o-f’, and then looked over at the kid next to him, who had written ‘u-v’. Though at the time, Oda had laughed at the other child’s “stupidity”, he came to realize what an insightful mistake it had been, as  “of” was pronounced a lot more like ‘u-v’ than ‘o-f’. He memorably wrote,

“I have learned that there are many rules and traditions. Many of them are there for good reasons. Many of them are not. You don’t have to follow all of them. I believe in the misspelling of the word “of,” and the necessity for each generation to question the assumptions of the previous.”

Both these pieces had me rethink what I thought was normal and ‘right’. Much like Emerson in his essay “Self-Reliance”, both authors portrayed instances and experiences where their beliefs and values diverged from the usual accepted ways. Just because one may not do things the way everyone else does, or does not think the way others do, does not mean that their actions/thoughts are not perfectly valid in their own right. I was inspired by all three pieces to not always conform and to occasionally question things that do not sit well with me.

——-

My ‘Winter Wonderland’ piece

Upon approaching the mammoth piece up on the wall that I otherwise would not have spared a second glance, I believe I am looking at a mosaic of marble. It looks sturdy and unmoving. Permanent. It’s only after closer inspection that I realize it is not cold rock, but rather, a fabric of some kind (wool?). My perception of it is altered. It is fragile, a mere stitchwork of light cloth that would be flapping around uselessly if not held down. I am not impressed.

But I’m forced to look some more, so I do. I start to see the shadows being created against the backdrop. Though it is fabric (cotton?), light and flimsy, it still manages to have its impact, create a shadow, leave its mark. I see its asymmetrical shape, with some parts filled, some parts left with gaping openness. There is no rhyme or reason to it – it just is. I see the larger pieces that provide structure, the smaller patches that add up to something greater. I see the discolorations, patchy, yet still natural – fading bruises along pale skin. I see the way the light is hitting the massive work before me, striking it just the right way so that while much is illuminated, there are still parts left in the dark. Not invisible, but still given its opportunity to hide.

Strangely, I now see much of myself in the work (silk) up on the wall, and it worries me how utterly unimpressed I still am.

This I Believe

Two of the essays that I enjoyed reading from the This I Believe project are “Always go to the Funeral”  by Deirdre Sullivan  and “My Dad’s ” by Angela.

Sullivan believes in always going to the funeral, the title caught my eye and I found her story to be quite moving. In her essay she talks about one of the important things her father taught her and that’s to always go to a funeral. She mentions, and I think we can all agree, that sometimes we’re forced to go to funerals for family friends that we weren’t really closed to but we do so because our parents force us to. Although she didn’t want to go to her fifth grade teacher’s funeral she went anyways, it wasn’t until the passing of her father that she realized the importance of taking the time to attend a funeral. To us it might not mean much, but to the people that are going through a hard time due to the loss of a family member our attendance at the funerals will always be remembered.

Angela’s essay is about the love a dog can bring to their owner. I read this essay because of the tittle ” My Dad’s ” ( I thought your dad’s what?). I was able to identify with Angela because I also believe in the unconditional love a dog brings. Shadow was her parent’s dog and she was named Shadow because she was always with Angela’s dad.  I was a bit emotional at the end and if you get the chance to read it you’ll understand why.

Although these essays were written by different people they share some things in common, one of them being the impact people and pets have on us and the lessons we learn from them. Sullivan learned something from her father, and that’s to always show she cares by doing small things like giving up her time to go to a funeral. Angela  learned that dogs can give unconditional love and how even a stubborn person like her father can become emotionally attached to a friend, even though Angela herself didn’t understand at first why her father was reluctant to let go. I guess these essays were interesting to me because I believe we meet the people we do for a reason, and in a way these essays showed that.

Today we went to the Wang Center and we looked at the piece called White Wonderland by Korean-American Artist Wonju Seo. At first I thought they were marble tiles that made the art piece but then I saw that it was actually composed of fabric, it’s called pojagi-traditional Korean patchwork. I found Ms.Seo’s website and she has a video on the making of this piece from hand stitching each piece to assembling it at the Wang Center.

Lopate and Self Reflection

Today we began to discuss this weeks topic using various “I Believe” essays present on thisibelieve.org. After reading a couple, I noticed an idea that was discussed in class in the first week regarding the style of writing in personal essays as defined by Phillip Lopate.

The first essay I will be discussing is The Power to Forget by James Downey. In this essay, Downey discussed the various methods in which he has come to cope with the death of his father that occurred early in his life. In the essay he briefly commented on the societal trends such as the common belief “find the bastard who shot my pa,” which is used to describe the emotional response that comes from boys who are dealing with the death of their father. The author ended up explaining how he believed that the best way to cope with this devastation was to forget. This is significant because by avoiding these painful emotions and repressing them he was able to suppress any urges he had. The ones that society was beckoning him to express. The author is middle aged at the time of the essay and begins to reinforce the ideas that were presented by Lopate that the personal essay is the middle-aged essay. The style that was taken by Downey further supported this point as he was able explain that at the time he was writing he barely remembered the name anymore. He lost the image of who he once was; nonetheless, handing more proof that he was of older age. This style was interesting to read as it helped me gain insight on the maturity that the author had gained since the time he was a kid and how even after many years he may still have not coped.

The second essay by Jeff from Columbia, Maryland was called I didn’t wash my car last month. The essay differentiates itself from James Downey by focusing less on a specific scenario and more on various different examples of every day life that the reader can agree with. In the essay the author explained how he has made up a concept to base whether he should expend time and energy on something in his life. The looking glass he used was the rocking chair test. A test where sitting in the future when he is older and reflecting on his life whether he would regret not partaking in a particular activity. For this reason the author made the argument that it would not make it onto a list of things he felt regret for not doing. This essay further proved the notion that as we get older we become more wary of things and thus, wiser.

So? After analyzing both essays, I have come to the conclusion that I disagree with Phillip Lopate’s claim that the personal essay is best known as the middle-aged essay. Consequently, I feel that the self-reflection that comes with strong personal essays just comes from the ability to make sound judgements and interpretations of events. These types of abilities are typical of one that is already middle aged since they typically have more experiences as a result of obviously living longer and more time on their schedule. But, as a result of beginning to write these essays and reading them now I feel that once one is mature enough to critically interpret an event, they can successfully compose a strong essay. Not necessarily having to be middle aged.

 

Works Cited:

Phillip Lopate excerpt from the edited The Art of the Personal Essay

The Power to Forget by James Downey: https://thisibelieve.org/essay/1856/

I didn’t wash my car last month by Jeff: https://thisibelieve.org/essay/13122/

Extended Reading:

“You’re Older – But Are You Really Wiser: http://seniorplanet.org/were-older-but-are-we-really-wiser/

I found this link pretty interesting in analyzing the age-old social concept of how society consider elders in communities as wiser. To sum it up, the author explained how the digital age has eliminated the need for an elder to be the source of knowledge in the community since most things they tell you can be found on Wikipedia anyway. I feel this is false in some aspects. In terms of how the  two essays are discussed above, elders may not be useful for their knowledge anymore, but they can still be useful for their problem solving abilities. A computer can often answer the “what” and “how” but it often cannot go through the various steps of problem solving to answer the question we tend to ask.  Writers use self-reflection in terms of being able to make more mature decisions and interpretations of their younger self, it is interesting how this is similar to how it works out for the elderly in the end as well.

The rest of the article is also a good read discussing current research done on cognitive science and defining what we consider wisdom as.

 

 

This I Believe Project

The two essays I chose from the This I Believe project are titled, “If You Believe In Me” (https://thisibelieve.org/essay/11244/) and “On Insignificance” (https://thisibelieve.org/essay/10992/).

“If You Believe In Me” begins with the line, “I believe in mothering”.  As soon as I read that line I knew that this would be one of the essays I choose.  Beverly characterizes her mother as a strong and independent woman unafraid to do what is necessary for the sake of herself and for her children.  From a young age, she supported herself, molded herself, decided her own birthday, and then from there supported her children.  She always believed that she and her children deserved the best.  The only thing I wish was different about this essay is that I wish the essay was more about the author rather than the mother.  The mother’s story is inspirational but I want to hear more about how her mother impacted the author as a person rather than only the acts the mother performed in her life.  I like how she ended with a quote though and I tried to do that in my own essay.  It was her quote from Through the Looking Glass, “If you believe in me then I’ll believe in you” that really brought the essay together.  I feel that if this quote was integrated more into the essay it would have been stronger.  I really liked her topic though which was why I wanted to share this essay.

I also chose the essay “On Insignificance”.  The reason I really liked this essay is because it sets a mood and it leaves you with a sense of melancholy.  It makes you feel so incredibly insignificant.  Right now, college students, we are young and vibrant.  Peggy, the author of this essay, is not defeated, but she is very settled.  In the essay she says, “I watch the sidewalk in front of me as I walk down the streets, feeling so alone.  Not lonely, just alone”.  She graduated from an ivy league school, she spent her young adult life in New York City, she has many accomplishments that others consider major milestones in her life.  But in the end she speaks of how everything that culminates her life is insignificant.  “[She hasn’t] succeeded in any worldly way”.  Instead of focusing on her failures though, she focuses on the fact that shes does what she needs to do in life and tries to live as a kind and considerate person.  It is so easily to get caught up in accomplishments that it seems that you live your life continually chasing after an unreachable goal.  This essay reminds us though that ambition is great but it is also important to be accepting of your current situation.

This past week we also went to the Wang Center to look at this piece.  It was a 5 minute time of introspection and meditation.  Looking at this piece, at first it looks white and then as you look at it in detail you begin to notice that there are other colors in the artwork.  Looking at this after discussing Emerson’s work, it made me think about how sitting here, we were defying his idea of what a “traveller” was and that we were there, settling down, and simply focusing on one thing, trying to understand that topic in detail.

 

War? God? Design?

To begin, I would like to question the necessity of war and before anything I would like to say that I don’t have an answer. I know that it is a tragedy for the soldiers to lose their life and I believe it should never happen, for one to give up their lives. In this essay a mother shares her thoughts on the war that she believes will eventually come to involve her sons. Her view seems to also be like mine trying to juggle the good and bad of war before eventually coming to the idea that a decision to go to war should be made by everyone or no one. The idea that if we all share in the ideas that war is the answer than tragedy must also be shared around. However I would have to disagree with this. Its not reasonable. No population is ever going to share the same views. I am a long way from pacifism but I think war doesn’t have to be the answer. However I do see her logic. One answer is rarely shared among the vast amount of people in this country. However we all feel pain and for most of us, we would rather not feel pain. Maybe pain is the only way to incentivize us as a whole. Maybe its naivete, maybe its the desire not to feel pain, but I believe and hope it doesn’t come down to that. I like to believe that there is always another way.

Essay “Sharing the Tragedy of War”

Also if you didn’t gather it from my previous post I’m a big fan of Doctor Who and this essay on war also lead me to this speech by the Doctor. Spoilers

When we see the horrors of war, can we still say that there is a god? In this essay Penn Jillette talks about not believing in god which I can relate considering I am a atheist. In this he has a quote that goes toward the horror of the world. “Believing that there is no god means the suffering I’ve seen in my family and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn’t caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn’t bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future.” Not believing in god let him to enjoy his life on his own term. What I found most interesting is that he tells people not to blindly follow god. It’s not hate toward religious people which is how many think of atheist because they don’t share their believes. Rather its telling start with not having a god and finding reasons and evidence that god exist. Maybe atheist are those that never found those reasons/ evidence.

Essay “There is no God”

For this I also have a quote from a TV show though for this I don’t have a video. It’s from Temperance Brennan, main character of Bones, who is also an Atheist. In this she talks about marriage which she doesn’t really believe in.

“For not being married, I don’t have an excuse. I just have very good reasons. I think that marriage is something that you need a reason to enter into. I never found that reason.” – Temperance Brennan (The Goop on the Girl)

Maybe its not the best quote to relate to this but for Penn, he never found a reason to believe in god, but rather a lot of reasons to not believe.

First thoughts that come to mind is the skyline that it forms and the bottom edge. It forms the shape of the NY skyline but instead of building, it is hollowed out. There are certain places that seemed to be older than the other pieces, having that slight greenish coloration to contrast with the grayish white of the rest with a hint of bluish tint from time to time in the design. The coloration is further brought to light in the shadows that the walls create in contrast with the light that falls from the window. Shapes vary in size and pattern but it would seem that many are diamond shaped while others are 3 lines, 2 of which bisects the square diagonally and the other horizontally. Random pieces missing from the rest. I wonder how satisfying it would be to put in the missing pieces especially the spaces that are surrounded on all four sides. Are the spaces intentional? None of the missing spaces seems to be repeated. It doesn’t seem to just be the designs on the wall itself but also take into account the light and the shadows that exist. Neck hurts from just arching it back to see the top while also catching a glimpse of the blue skies through the window. Sounds of water hitting against water flushes out the voices that can be faintly heard in the background. The lights seems to be in the shape of squares conforming to the window that the light emanates from and yet in the bottom middle, the lights seem to lose their shape, turning in to blurry mass without any really discernible shape.