Crippled, but Not Wholly

When hearing of someone who has a degenerative disease, all an unafflicted person can really say is “how sad”, or “that’s too bad”. It is hard to imagine being in a position where your body begins to turn against you if you have never been there, unlike other situations which may be easier to sympathize with. In “On Being a Cripple”, by Nancy Mairs, she describes her life with multiple sclerosis. She begins it with describing how sometimes her faltering feet may seem whimsical, and she can even laugh at it. Mairs also bring up how she calls herself, as stated in the title, a cripple. She believes that other words are a weird misuse of the English language and are not an adequate description for her – stating that “some realities do not obey the dictates of language”. I felt that this was a powerful statement not only for people with disabilities (one of the words Mairs dislikes, actually) but for all uses of language.

As Mairs delves deeper into her life, she confesses that although her family does not look at her differently for her disease, and although some of her students respect her more for it, she is scared they are putting on an act. “I think they like me. Unless they’re faking…” she says, as she also states how her mother told her the family makes “allowances” for her based on her condition. I think everyone has probably felt like this at some point in their life – unsure if their classmates or someone in their friend group truly likes them. However, again as someone who has never been afflicted by such an illness, I cannot imagine the degree that Mairs must be feeling this to. It is not a slight blemish on her skin that she is embarrassed her peers might stare at, but her jerking walk, her loss of function in her hand, or different episodes that she might have on a daily basis. It is her whole being now – however even with these doubts, Mairs still states that she loves to smoke cigars on her porch with her husband, and they even still travel. It’s inspirational and reminds me that being embarrassed to go out in public when my manicure is chipped is a sad example of how shallow I am, while there are beautiful people like Mairs out there who can share their story and be proud of who they are, all while all of her students even admire her for being able to paint her own nails.

This essay is inspirational and powerful. Mairs even makes the point of saying she knows better than to be mean to her doctors about not having a cure, since they are healers, and are already probably disappointed enough in themselves for not being able to help her. I wish I shared her ability to empathize – perhaps something I can work on in the future.